Golfer: "I'm going to drown myself in the lake."
Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?"
Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too much of a distraction."
Caddy: "It's not a watch—it's a compass." Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course."
Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth." Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?"
Caddy: "Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now."
Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on."
Caddy: "This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago." |